How to be manly in Japan

As hilarious as it might sound to try and be american-style "manly" in Japan, we have found a few ways that any average Joe (American, Japanese, or other) can man-up in Japan.

1. Get yourself some cool t-shirts

We don't know if it's the Japanese passion for nature and mysticism that brings these shirts about, but they are freaking hilarious. 

2. Learn to love "cool biz" 

Cool Biz is an awesome time of year, when Japanese business people put aside their black pants and white, long-sleeved shirts, and opt for a more summer casual look. By "summer casual" we mean gray pants, instead of black, and pastel or short sleeved shirts. We heard this was started by the government to help beat the heat, but we will report back after some research. You still stick out like a sore thumb if you are in anything but gray, black, or white as a man or earth tones and navy blue as a woman, so don't think your neon Nike gear will suddenly help you blend in (nice try tourists...and Meg).

3. Drink highballs all day long...in the can

Cheaper than beer, and generally with a higher alcohol content, canned cocktails, including highballs, are a great option. With the lack of "on-the-street-drinking" laws, you might as well just grab one on your way to work, or while sitting next to the river watching the sun set over Kyoto. There really is no bad time for a Suntory Highball.

Another classy and affordable option is just straight vodka (or whiskey, bourbon, gin, etc.). There is a killer vodka bar on Pontocho street that serves up hundreds of varieties of vodka. They also apparently own a Russian restaurant on the other side of the river, but we haven't made it there yet. 

4. Forget about shoes and get some hoes...knee high that is

At several points throughout Gion Matsuri we have seen men in a series of what appear to be handmade sandals, and at the big parade a few even threw on some ladies knee high nylons. I mean, why not? What manly-man isn't at least a little in touch with his fem. side. 

5. Eat all the meat you can

The Japanese love two things: meat and carbs, but rarely do the two meet. We see people eating all kinds of meat, even foot long polish hot dogs without buns. There are boulangerie shops on every street, if not two in a row. Quite honestly, these people are just begging to be the next obesity epidemic. The picture above is a popular advertisement by restaurants serving cow. Some are cuter than others with little red hearts painted anatomically correct on the body. 

Oh and did we mention you might as well stop eating protein bars now?...You will starve eating Japanese protein or fruit & nut bars. They can't be more than 1x3" and keep you feeling full for 1-3 seconds.

6. Get yourself one badass tractor

and by "badass" we mean...SUPER TINY. Check that thing out! The guy digging has a shovel almost the same size. Needless to say, we only saw this tractor once, and ever since it's only been men at work.